Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A Tale of Grotesque Proportions

I know that the deer story did not have the happy ending that we were hoping for, so let me throw this out there. Did I mention that there are also squirrels back there.



So I have mentioned that I have this formal American Cancer Society Fundraiser/Oscar Party coming up this week. On a Saturday I went down to Des Moines to pickup a new dress shirt. This seems to be a fairly simple task.

Within that assumption lies the problem. You see I am a person of strange proportions. I have the neck of a much fatter man. I have the arms of a much taller man. The shorthand version of this tale is that even the Big and Tall store did not posess a shirt in stock that perfectly conformed to my dimensions. On Sunday I shall arrive in a shirt that is freakishly long and a button extender so that I can look stylish and be comfortable.

One last factoid. I am hesistant to admit this fact. I let them talk me into buying a zipper tie. Oh the humanity!!

You may recall that whenever somebody pursues acquiring a picture of mine it always ends up in the bathroom. My eldest sister is redecorating her bathroom. Who do you think she called looking for black and white photos of flowers?

I didn't take many flower pictures last year. Although B&W is my favorite photographic medium I don't think I took any B&W flower pictures. So I had to do a little post production work.

Below would be the options I gave her.

Flower #1

Flower #2

Flower #3

Flower #4


Flower #5

Flower #6

Flower #7

Flower #8

Flower #9

Flower #10

Flower #11

If you are the curious sort, she choose #2, #4, #9, & #10. She also wants a copy of #7, but it won't be in the bathroom because it isn't consistent with her theme.

So where will #7 end up? My guess is the guest bathroom.

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